You Were Always Forgiven
by Nittles
Summary: He never had any doubt that she would forgive him.
1. Chapter One

"It's just the wind Ruth"

"Yes, of course"

He turned to face her. He looked vulnerable, just like their first encounter on the roof of Thames House. Ruth pulled her hand away from his arm hesitantly, secretly hoping for Harry to take her hand in his instead. When he didn't move, she couldn't hide the look of disappointment and turned to stare absent-mindedly out at the London skyline.

"Ruth?"

Harry, noting the look of rejection on Ruth's face, mirrored her position and rested his hand carefully, yet deliberately, just a few centimetres away from hers on the railing.

"Thank you."

At these words, Ruth turned her head abruptly.

"For what?"

Instinctively, Harry edged his hand over hers, his fingers interlocking with hers. He looked up slowly to find her eyes fixed intently on his face.

"For not hating me after everything I have put you through. Ever since you left all those years ago, I dreamed that one day you would return to Thames House... To me." Harry paused. Was he going too far? Was this his attempt at apologising for ruining her happiness with her husband? With her stepson? He took a deep breath, looked out at the view in front of him and continued. "I just never imagined the reunion to have happened in the way that it did. For you to return I had to hand myself in as bait to the Russians and then... And th-hen I had to ru-ruin th-e" Harry choked and moved his hand from on the top of hers and wiped away the tears that were starting to fall.

She knew what he was going to say, and she knew this was his apology for everything that had happened since she had returned. She agreed this was not quite the reunion that she had imagined, but she did not regret leaving her old life behind to back here, in this moment... With him. She turned to face him, and beckoned him to mirror her movements.

"Harry." Her voice was soft, compassionate and he knew in that instant she had forgiven him from the moment Jo had found her on those steps and announced that he had missed her more than anybody on the Grid. She placed her left hand on his arm again and used her other hand to wipe away rogue tears that were finding their way down Harry's cheeks. "Harry, I know that I never made things easy on you after, after that day..." _Boy were these memories painful_ "... But I don't regret a single thing that has happened over the last couple of months and if anything I should be thanking you for not turning your back on me at a time when secretly, I needed you most."

They stood watching each other, trying to read what the other was thinking, unaware they were both finding the courage to word the same feelings that had lingered for the best part of five years. Harry rested his hands on Ruth's waists and went to speak when his pager went off. He cursed inwardly as he pulled the pager out of his pocket.

"Ah, shit" he sighed "I'm needed downstairs... Listen, I, umm." He stopped and gazed at the floor. Ruth placed her hands on his and gently removed them from her waist.

"You better go! Ros and Lucas are counting on you." He smiled, and gave her hands a gentle squeeze before heading for the door. As he reached for the handle he turned back to face her.

"We'll talk later I promise."

And with that, he pulled the door open and closed it carefully behind him.


	2. Chapter Two

_"We'll talk later."_

Ruth's mind was in turmoil as she franticly tried to figure out exactly what he had in mind. She'd been staring at her screen aimlessly for the last half hour trying to read into his simple statement. _Well surely he wants to talk about your relationship, you did just open up about needing him._ She cursed inwardly at the carelessness of her words. She loved Harry dearly, that was obvious to even the most junior officers on Section D, but despite everything that had happened she wasn't sure whether she was ready to finally surrender and stop beating around the bush.

It must have been the telephone that put an abrupt end to the thoughts. She hadn't consciously picked up the phone or had a conversation with the other caller, but before she knew it she was thrusting the phone into Tariq's hand and running across the Grid in the direction of Harry's office.

As Ruth approached Harry's office he emerged, looking mildly panicked and heading towards the pods. The look of confusion on her face must have shown as he justified his actions immediately.

"I'm going down there now..."

"No, no, no to do what?" There was a sudden sense of urgency to her voice. He couldn't be serious.

"To speak to whoever is pretending to be in charge"

"Harry, there's not enough time," Ruth was becoming more urgent in trying to persuade Harry to stay. He was only putting himself in the direct line of danger and she had already lost him several times before. It wasn't going to happen again. "You won't be able to achieve anything."

Harry was too engrossed with his mobile phone to note the look of terror evident on Ruth's face. He carried on regardless of her pleading.

"Get me the met commander on the ground."

"I've just spoken to him, it's chaos down there, nobody seems to know who's in charge, the, the Americans are, are talking about a security incident and they're clearing the lobby!"

Harry tore his eyes away from his mobile to face Ruth. Only then did the look of unease on his face become apparent to her.

"The British home secretary and the Pakistani president are still inside that building and we can't actually move in and get them out?

He searched her eyes desperately for an answer. The Americans were making life difficult, his most reliant officers were in immediate danger and he knew if he didn't act fast there would be serious consequences that could lead to an all out nuclear war. Tariq's sudden outburst didn't help ease Harry's edginess.

"I can't get hold of either Lucas or Ros"

He looked at Ruth again before making his decision.

"Get me a car now," he ordered as he turned his back and made his way into the pods.

"Harry," Ruth said forcefully, the look of worry suddenly emerging again.

Harry turned round to face her and before she knew what she was doing she continued

"What if there's no later?"

He knew what she meant yet all he could do was give his best reassuring smile before turning his back once again and heading towards reception.

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	3. Chapter Three

She turned around to stare out at the rest of the grid. The unshed tears in her eyes glistened against their electric blue background. She knew she had feelings for him, she just didn't know how strong they actually were.

It'd been nearly four hours since Harry had called to say he was on the way to the local hospital to check up on Lucas and that he wouldn't be returning to the Grid. Realising she was the only person left in the building; she turned off her computer and headed for the pods.

Her journey home had been the smoothest she'd experienced in quite a while. Her bus had arrived just after she got to the bus stop, and the bus only stopped once before pulling in at her destination. Now, she sat curled up on her sofa, her blanket comfortably wrapped around her with Fidget sleeping soundly by her feet. _Night time entertainment isn't all it's cracked up to be_ she sighed, deciding what she would rather endure for the next half hour.

Even celebrity big brother, as entertaining as it was, could distract her from her trailing thoughts. Harry still hadn't phoned and she was becoming increasingly anxious to find out what was going on. _Was he having second thoughts? Did he no longer want to talk about this?_

"This" she muttered half heartedly to herself. _What exactly is this?_

Shaking her head, she pulled herself up and wandered into the kitchen. She rummaged through her cupboard looking for the box of teabags. Triumphant in her quest, she turned to make her way towards the mugs when her eyes were diverted to her mobile phone lying on the counter. Giving in to temptation, she picked it up. She could call him, find out where he is, how he is, whether he was trying to avoid having this discussion... _Oh, don't be stupid Ruth!_ She slapped herself mentally. _One of his officers is suspected dead, the other's in critical condition at the hospital and the home secretary is still missing! He's going to be preoccupied!_

The hissing of the kettle pulled Ruth away from her rambling thoughts. Putting the phone back down, she turned her focus back onto making herself some sweet tea. She hadn't got as far as removing the teabag from her mug before her mobile starting flashing and vibrating violently across the counter. She instantly recognised the number that was flashing up and answered it without hesitating.

"Harry!"

"Ruth!" Harry exclaimed, playfully mocking Ruth's eager greeting. Harry began to hear Ruth mumble an apology and decided to intervene before Ruth embarrassed herself.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. It's really comforting to know that somebody actually wants to speak to me."

Ruth smiled. She knew this was Harry's way of trying to start_ that_ conversation. She cursed herself inwardly for allowing herself to believe that he would be heartless enough to start avoiding her. Grabbing on to some new found confidence she eventually spoke.

"Why are you calling so late?"

"Well, I umm..." Harry hadn't expected her to be direct, and he didn't quite know how to tell her he was stuck at the hospital all night if he couldn't find somewhere to stay. "I left all my keys in my desk drawer on the grid."

Ruth cocked an eyebrow. Why would Harry leave all of his keys in his drawer on the grid? _He was in a rush you idiot!_ Ruth didn't know what to say. Even if he had left his keys on the grid, why would he tell _her_ of all people? Unless... Ruth shook her head mentally. _Of course that's not what he's going to ask!_ She was about to ask him why he had told her when she heard him clear his throat to continue.

"Because of all my keys are on the grid, I can't get home. I mean, the hospital has allowed me to stay if necessary, but I would... Well, the thing is, I don't like hospitals and I really don't want to stay here."

YES! Ruth could have jumped for joy if it hadn't been for the fact Harry would have wondered what on earth she was doing. This was her opportunity. Gulping audibly, she tried not to sound too pleased.

"Oh, that's so, umm, awful," she muttered quietly, trying her hardest to suppress her giggles.

"So umm... I was wondering, could I?" Ruth could picture Harry's puppy eyed pout as he raised the last question.

"Well I suppose you could sleep on the sofa" She said as seriously as she could muster, failing to stifle the giggle that was escaping her throat.

Harry chuckled.

"In that case I'll be right over!"

Harry hung up on Ruth all too eagerly and practically dashed out of the hospital.

This was it. _This was it.  
_

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	4. Chapter Four

"For God's sake!" Harry shouted, angrily gripping the steering wheel and switching off the radio. He'd been stuck in the same spot for a good half hour at least, and his patience was rapidly starting to wear thin. _Typical_, he thought, _every time I get the opportunity to spend time alone with Ruth, something always gets in the way!_

Snow always had a habit of bringing London to a standstill, no matter how little of it actually fell. Figuring that he would be in traffic for most of the night at this rate, he turned off at the nearest side road, parked up and pulled out the overnight bag he always kept in the boot in case of sudden emergencies. He'd rather walk in the freezing cold with some fresh air than be clogged up in that welded heap of metal for the next couple of hours.

* * *

Ruth couldn't help but keep glancing at the clock. It'd been just over two hours since Harry had called to say he needed a place to stay, and she felt a slight pang of hurt at the possibility that he had changed his mind and gone to collect his own keys from the grid. She snapped back to reality at the sound of hurried footsteps connecting with the gravel outside, shortly accompanied by a loud banging on the front door.

"Clothes," he smiled, raising his bag triumphantly as she pulled the door back as far as it could go and found a very dishevelled and flustered Harry standing on her step. She returned his smile and stepped aside for him to enter. Ruth hastily ushered him into the living area and set about pouring them both a drink. She figured that they'd need one before the night was through.

"What did the doctors say about Ros and Lucas?" Ruth finally asked, desperate to break the awkward tension slowly building up between them.

"Lucas is OK, minor bruising from where he fell following the impact of the explosion. But Ros..." Harry choked. He had formed a close bond with Ros ever since they were both captured and condemned to death at Juliet's hands all those years ago. Even thinking about the extent of Ros' injuries caused tears to well up in his eyes.

She sensed Harry was finding it difficult to talk about it, and placed her hand on his arm in reassurance.

"You don't have to say anymore Harry; I know it must be painful to remember." Ruth gave a sympathetic smile and squeezed his arm slightly before reluctantly pulling away.

She wasn't ready for his quick reflexes. As she had slowly pulled her hand away, he snapped into action, grabbing it with his left and carefully entwining their fingers. He looked up at her and began to smile.

"And on that note Ruth..." He paused briefly to meet her gaze. She gave him a small smile of encouragement and he quickly continued. "I think now is our later and we should talk. I think it would help if I start, seeing as it's my fault that we've continually delayed the inevitable." He squeezed her hand gently and couldn't help but chuckle at the very bashful smile Ruth was now sporting.

"I should know better really," he chuckled "The last time I came round to telling you how I feel you were sent away." He closed his eyes as he replied their last encounter in his head. The final goodbye. The one and only kiss.

"Nobody knows where they will be tomorrow. The only thing I am sure of, and have always been sure of, is that I wherever I am tomorrow, I want you to be there too."

He watched Ruth as a huge grin slowly formed across her features. Her welcome reaction at his words spurred him on.

"Basically Miss Evershed," he teased, his tone becoming deeper and more seductive "I love you. And I can tell by the way you've cut off the blood supply to my hand and the fact that you're grinning like a Cheshire cat that you obviously like what I'm saying to you."

By this point Harry too was grinning. She hadn't run away. She hadn't stopped him from saying those three words. Eight letters. He'd done it. He just needed to hear from her what he had spent the last five years desperately hoping she would one day come back and tell him.

Ruth couldn't contain her excitement any longer. Leaning her body slowly over the sofa and over him, she bent her head down slightly so their ears were touching.

"And I can tell by the way that you downed your whiskey that you needed a lot of Dutch courage to sit here and tell me how you feel," she whispered seductively, causing him to shiver in anticipation as her hot breath washed over him. "You've lost a lot of brownie points for that Harry, but I'm sure you're more than willing to make it up to me."

She moved back into his line of vision again, a cheeky grin plastered on her face as she moved her head towards his so their noses were just about touching.

"And... Before you ask me, I love you too." She smiled, slowly leaning forward and capturing his mouth with her own.

End

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